The Miracles of Toothbrush Writing

Every night I stand in front of the bathroom mirror brushing my teeth and for some inexplicable reason an array of blogging ideas come to me. It’s not that I mind new inspiration but couldn’t it happen when a notebook and pen are handy? Perhaps I should start keeping one in the bathroom.

This must happen as a symptom of my recently acquired blogging addiction. Does anybody else go to bed at night, close their eyes and see a little orange box in the top right hand corner? Am I the only one who gets inspiration at impromptu times?

Also, I am constantly checking the stats page wondering what people have been reading and whether I could write another post along similar lines. Personally the sociology and education articles are my favourite; though I have to be careful, I don’t want to be accused of plagiarising my own work when it comes to assignment submission 😀

Weekly Writing Challenge: Life as a Laptop

I’d never really heard of, and certainly not thought about Active Voice vs. Passive Voice before, I may have altered sentences before to change the emphasis but never consciously though ‘this should be active’. I suppose some of my older readers will be grumbling ‘what do they teach them in schools nowadays!’ I have to say, I agree. I did English at A level and this distinction was never mentioned, maybe a creative writing element should be added to the course?

Anyway, this weeks challenge was to ‘listen to the voices in you head’. To see the full challenge click here. I would appreciate your opinions as this diverges from my usual writing style, thank you.

Life as a Laptop

I have sat here, on the floor under the sofa, quiet and comfortable all day. It has been peaceful, no disturbances or interruptions from careless two-legged beings. Occasionally one of these inhabitants of the room where I lay folds themselves into a chair and stares dreary-eyed at a fellow screen. I know at some point my services will be called upon and I will be required to reach out into the cloud and drag relevant images and words to my screen.

Sure enough, I am picked up and placed on a denim-clad lap, my cable starts gently vibrating as sparks of electricity forces me out of a thoughtful slumber. Uncaring fingers prod soundly on my keys before my prized ‘Enter’ button is slammed ungraciously. I can feel the tics and twinges of my circuitry being unwound and the laps’ owner sighs and settles back anticipating a couple of hours of stress-free internet browsing.

For some reason, I find this to be irritating. Grumpily I decide not today mate!

I allow the home screen to load, complete with a photo of the four-legged fluffy thing which sniffs and bats at my wires once in a while. I then cunningly lull the stubby, ungrateful fingers into a false sense of security as the Google home page pops up. A few minutes of browsing pointless you-tube videos, I feel a sense of glee and anticipation as the page stutters and declares: “Windows is not responding”.

Ha-ha got you! What you gonna do now punk? Damn those videos.

A swear word is uttered from up above and as the page freezes I am turned off.

And on again.

I sigh, so predictable. A couple more of these instances and I will be allowed to recover back in my place on the floor. Maybe I’ll read a book, Austen or Brontë perhaps. My English needs rejuvenating after being forced to view bad gangster scenes by the inferior object whose lap I warm.

Did you know Frogs rule the universe?

Falling Sideways by Tom Holt

Holt’s fiction is…befuddling. From the moment you start reading, you’re not sure whether to be amused or confused. Certainly bemused.

David Perkins bumbles his way into a police station, an outcome he is sure has been orchestrated by the band of clone brothers who seem to be just about everywhere. From there he accidentally stumbles onto the discovery that frogs rule, quite literally.

And why is he in the mess? Because of a painting, a lock of hair and a centuries-old love story of course!

After being forced to not only question his identity, species and his very existence David finds himself resigned to kissing 6000 frogs.

Holt is an imaginative, unique writer whose baffling logic scarily makes more sense than it ought. As long as you don’t try to think it through for too long, otherwise you’ll get a headache.

If you enjoyed ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ (and if you haven’t read it you should) you’ll enjoy Tom Holt’s style of twisted humour. Definitely a book which causes a dazed far-out smile to appear on your face every time you think of it or and try to unravel the riddle of the plot, its laugh-out-loud humour stays with you.